#hit my line

[m6gg3ts0n9izza]

IF YOU HAVE GLASSES HMU PLEASE😫🧎🏽‍♀️🤭😻😼🙏🥺😫😈

[kezmaggot]

they call them love handles cuz im loving those handles baybee 🤫🧏

[carmillas-girlfriend]

if you could recommend me some stizzy or edizzy or blackbonnet/gentlebeard fics i would appreciate <3

[mightymorphin777]

You straight out of 99 babe, dark denim over suede it's, classic and understated, damn, you were Bonnie and I was Clyde babe, need to be separated, captive but captivated🎶

[euthymiya]

i need to kiss a man but he needs to have scars on his face and have white hair with red in it and also he should be pretty much a maniac that wants to take human evolution into his own hands and merge them with monsters does that make sense

[dungeoncrawlergf]

dors anyone want to get in an argument

[lonlonranching]

w-who dis 😳

[javiersprincess]

me topping is crazy because im tit level with most men and im built like a single blade of wheat but im good at it 🫶

[strangersatellites]

also..

9 and share the line(s) with the class please

9. Have you ever made yourself laugh with something you’ve written?

oh yeah frequently here's a list:

burning desire

Dustin, who is so red in the face he looks like he needs a breather, is the first to speak up. 

“We didn’t know he was a he !”

Steve, equally as frazzled, yells back, “You didn’t ask!”

starry haze, crystal ball

“Your secret’s safe with me.” She pauses before she speaks again. 

“Not with Steve though. He’s the one who taught me how to read the cards.”

“Alright, jackass. Well, despite the fact that my first demonstration of my tarot reading prowess was less than impressive– nope,” He lifts his hand to cut off whatever smart retort Steve was about to let fly. “Despite it all, I am actually way more well-versed in the art of tarot than I might’ve originally let on.”

the birthday fic

“So, Mr. Bouncer. You just gonna let Lady Applejack slide for disobeying the dress code?” He jokes.

Steve gives him a bewildered look. “Yes? She’s the only one of those little twerps I’m scared of.”

“Should we call the rest of Roane County and see if they need gifts wrapped while we’re at it?” Eddie jests.

Steve groans and gets up to go upstairs. “You ruined it!” His stomps ring out through the living room. “We are not having sex anymore!” He calls from the landing.

Eddie scrambles to follow him, yelling “We were about to have sex?!”

He hears a door slam and Steve call out, “Not anymore!”

tip of my tongue

“Oh sorry, was walking into my bedroom not enough of a heads up for you? I’ll be sure to make an announcement over the intercom next time.” 

“I swear to god, if you ever call me master again, I will not hesitate to break up with you.”

drum roll please for my greatest comedic feat to date:

“Hey anklebiters! Do you guys need a Dad? I’m trying to un-single your mom!”

[wikileaks]

any hot bitches looking to be fumbled

[keymintt]

more public art! these fellas were printed on vinyl for the sides of a traffic cabinet

[clownboybebop]

if you’re ever in the position to choose between giving up and accepting defeat, and actually trying to fight the ancient unkillable god that is about to peel apart reality like a string cheese, remember this: scientifically speaking, you might as well give it a shot!

1.there were trees at the beginning of the world! there were trees so long ago that they predate bacteria that causes wood to decay. when a tree fell, it would lie there in stasis and there wasn’t any way of breaking down wood xylem on a molecular level in that way.

2. it seems obvious to say, but wood eating bacteria are literally incapable of comprehending what they’re breaking down. It’s just not information conciously available to a microorganism. they don’t know what they’re deconstructing, where it came from, bacteria have no way to even fathom the existence of a tree as a concept.

3. Regardless of the facts above, the world we live in today is a world where wood inevitably decomposes

it is worth fighting the unkillable god no matter how pointless it seems. it is worth taking the risk even though youre trying to accomplish something impossible. the reality in which you live was also once reality in which trees didn’t rot. You live in a reality that allows for existence before the possibility of destruction. you live in a reality where uncomprehending microbes break down matter that is so far beyond the scope of their comprehension that it feels comical to specify something so obvious. you live in a reality that occasionally allows unshakeable physical truths to be altered with no warning.

It is worth fighting the unkillable god because trees are so old they predate the source of their destruction, and it still did not spare them. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because bacteria rots unthinkingly, because there is room in our cosmos for destruction without comprehension on the part of the destroyer. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because now and then reality retracts the promise of immortality without fanfare, and when that happens there is no mercy for the ancient. the unmaking is not softer for the desecrators ignorance. for all things, existence is endless until the exact point where it ends.

so you might as well try to kill the unkillable god. it doesn’t seem likely, but at the beginning of the world, trees didn’t rot. so you never know! you never know

[mrsmiseryxo]

not letting a man near me unless he has a european passport or he’s pedro pascal

[doctorsiren]

Oh Dipper, you would LOVE Chappell Roan

[stacheldraht]

She'll take whatever just to feel alive, lays with the devil on her darkest nights

[damienboneposter]

Been drawing shitty self portraits On Purpose as of late (cartoon blood warning)

Real Talk: no idea what I'm gonna do during second semester. I didn't think I'd make it this far lowkey, I don't wanna do this maaaaan I wanna be a guy's plaything